A Seasonal Mormon!

Earlier this week... I had a bad day... that morphed into a bad week... I know, I know, there is power in what we "confess" but just where is the balance between the power of life and death being in the tongue and just plain old honesty... besides I didn't actually SAY anything... I wrote it and I'm pretty sure (because I asked a really holy super connected to God local pastor who said he wasn't sure which means I'm going with NO) that Satan's minions can't read so I don't think they are doing the happy dance of "We got her! We got her!" on her my blog.

So what exactly does one do in the midst of a bad day that has turned into a bad week... the christian response is of course SEEK GOD.... but after the seeking of God... I seek laughter! It really is the best medicine!

So I picked up a little book called Stuff Christians Like by Jonathon Acuff. Parts of it, I admit are a little cheesey but other parts are just plain hilarious.... He shares things that we ALL know and yet NO ONE says ...

One of my favorite passages (awwww.... see I am a good Christian... I automatically refer to portions of books as passages - sigh of relief)... is in Chapter 1 - My Bad.

Being Slightly Less Nice Than Mormons

Have you ever met a Mormon who was a jerk? I haven't. Every Mormon I have ever met has been nice, friendly and well dressed.  But I know they have some.  Surely someone in Utah is a jerk. But for my money, Mormons are slightly nicer than Christians.

HA-LARIOUS!  And... sadly... kind of true... after I was done laughing out loud in my bed by myself (see previous blogs - I'm single which means I sleep alone - another notch on that Christan belt of mine!)... I started to think... From a single girls perspective there ARE just a few things that the Christian church can learn from the Mormons!

For example, have you ever met a single Mormon over the age of 26... I haven't!  And no it's not because they are all being married off as child brides - I'm not talking about the crazy sects where they make their own clothes and look like they stepped off of the set of Little House on the Prairie.... but the main line, we look and dress and act normal (albeit VERY nice as referenced above) Mormon church... again... I haven't. 

A few years ago I worked with a girl who was a Mormon and found out WHY.  When Mormon youth reach the age of approximately 18, they stop going to the "regular" church and spend roughly the next 10 years (or less for the lucky among them) in the SINGLES church.  All of the single Mormons go to church together where they hook up and get married.  WHAT a BRILLIANT idea! And the BRILLIANCE does not stop there!  In the "Singles Church" 4 or 5 single guys are "assigned" to 4 or 5 single girls to do the manly things that a single girl just can't (or shouldn't have to) do on her own... Moving.... no problem! Your assigned single guys pop on over and haul your stuff!  Blizzard?  Put that shovel down! Your assigned single guys come and shovel you out!  Buy new and complicated electronic gadgets!  No need to read the directions because... Here come your single guys!  Seriously, this is BETTER than the Geek Squad... and it's FREE!!!!

I must admit (notch off the super Christian belt) when I learned all of the above, I started to wonder... if I could become a seasonal Mormon... Find my husband (okay technically too old for the singles church but if they don't ask for id... I LOOK younger than I am)... Let Jesus save him and in the process never worry about another move, snow storm or new electronic gadget again!

GREEN... is NOT the new BLACK!

I am really funny... quite hilarious at times if you ask me and often without even trying!  Humor is just a part of who I am.  Along with being funny, I am also  pretty honest.  I call 'em like I see 'em and honestly just say what I am thinking with little to no pretense.  And just a curious little side note on that point, was I NOT supposed to talk about the man-boobs that had swag?!

So I'm going to be honest... sometimes, just sometimes, I think that God is going a little too far with this rejoice with those who rejoice thing! (Shocked face, I know... I know... but I'm being real.. and if you keep reading it really does all resolve in a way that I think makes Jesus proud.)  I mean when Peter asked how many times we are supposed to forgive Jesus said 70 times 7.  Yes I know, biblically there was some infinity type significance to that equation but here in 2012... that means 490!  So I will give you 490 chances and THEN... we are THROUGH!

So... how many times am I supposed to rejoice with those who rejoice?  I mean, I can tell you how many bridesmaids dresses are hanging in my closet and the number of showers - both bridal and baby that I have planned.  I couldn't even begin to count the number that I have attended.  Sometimes it's been easy and other times, it's been more of a challenge but each time I have had to make a choice - To rejoice or NOT to rejoice - That was the question!

I recently found myself wondering in those times when it has been a challenge, WHY it was so hard?  WHAT the struggle was?  The answer hit and it wasn't very pretty... jealousy!  Now here was the trick... I really was truly, genuinely happy for my friends... but I was sad for me... and the combination left me GREEN with envy.  I love the color green but not in this context!  Green is NOT the new black and I do NOT like the accessories that go with this particular shade of green.  Dissatisfaction, depression, frustration... the list could go on and on! 

Have you ever found yourself in this situation, wondering how to rid yourself of that awful feeling? 

The first step is to recognize where it is coming from.  The truth is that jealousy is usually spawned out of unbelief.  The reality is that if I TRULY believe that God was going to fulfill the desires of my heart, I would be encouraged NOT discouraged when I see Him doing it for someone else. 

The second is to pray for and go out of your way to bless one of two people - EITHER the person whose dream is coming true (trust me when you do this with a sincerity of heart, you are blessed in the process) OR someone who is discouraged and needs a little pick me up.  In both cases you are no longer focusing on the source of your problem... which in this case, unfortunately is YOU!

If you remember nothing else, remember... Green is NOT the new black... AND if you hurt me 490 times... I will forgive you anyway (partially because I probably lost count a long time ago :)!